Quando si parla di autostima spesso si attribuisce un significato completamente diverso da quello che la parola possiede effettivamente, cioè abbiamo la tendenza a descrivere l’autostima come i vari aspetti che ci fanno apparire persone apprezzabili agli occhi degli altri.
Cosa significa avere autostima? Stimare significa valutare, che è diverso da essere valutati. A questo punto è il caso di formulare diversamente la domanda: sulla base di quali valori valutate il vostro livello di autostima?
Christophe Andrè e Francois Lelord sono due psicologi francesi che hanno riscosso un grande successo con il libro “La stima di sè“, pubblicazione che offre consigli preziosi per imparare ad apprezzarci e ad amarci.
Chi ha bassa autostima tende a sminuire gli altri e crede poco nelle proprie capacità, che rapporta unicamente a come esse vengono giudicate dalla società, è cioè attento alle opinioni altrui più tosto che alla realizzazione personale.
Anche quando riesce a raggiungere il successo non è in grado di gioirne, al contrario lo teme perchè ha paura di essere messo in discussione e perchè è un’immagine in contrasto con quella in cui è abituato a vedersi.
La maggior parte degli individui che hanno scarsa autostima proviene da genitori che fin da piccoli hanno creduto poco nelle capacità dei figli, ma non per questo sono condannati a sentirsi impotenti a vita.
Andrè e Lelord sostengono che la cosa più importante è ridefinire la scala dei valori, evidenziando quali sono le caratteristiche e gli scopi che possono condurci al benessere personale.
L’obiettivo è lavorare soprattutto su tre aspetti: il rapporto con sè stessi, il rapporto sull’azione e il rapporto con gli altri. Essere padroni di sè stessi non significa soffocare le proprie paure o emozioni ma credere fermamente di possedere le capacità che ci rendono felici e di poter cambiare quello che non ci piace.
Per farlo dobbiamo alimentare la fiducia in noi stessi attraverso ogni piccolo successo, imparando a conoscere e ad utilizzare il nostro potenziale pensando esclusivamente al nostro benessere e non al giudizio degli altri.
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